Humor quotes
3.8K quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
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Browse quotes that often appear alongside humor — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
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"In the most ordinary terms, egolessness is a flexible identity. It manifests as inquisitiveness , as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. It is our capacity to relax with not knowing, not figuring everything out, with not being at all sure who we are, or who anyone else is, either."
"I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a congress."
"As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis."
"Knavery and flattery are blood relations."
"I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off."
"Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward."
"I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues""
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
"I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!"
"You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!"
"If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads."
"Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone."
"A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on."
"Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense"
"See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!"
"I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage."
"Wit is cultured insolence."
"Individual rights are the means of subordinating society to moral law."
"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."
"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."
