"Anything too stupid to be said is sung."
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 17 of 81)
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"My mother was the making of me."
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"Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better."
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"But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself."
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"Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it."
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"I've been things and seen places."
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"I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights."
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"When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber."
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"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
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"Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest."
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"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
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"I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me."
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"Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed"
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"If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go."
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"Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs."
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"I am not an economist. I am an honest man!"
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"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."
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"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
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"What medicines do not heal, the lance will; what the lance does not heal, fire will."
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"I love making people laugh, and to be able to be that humorous character was great. And I actually was very similar to Neville Longbottom. I was very shy and chubby-cheeked. I wasn't bullied at school, but I wasn't particularly outgoing. We were similar. And so I loved playing him."
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