"A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor."
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 18 of 81)
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"Keep your tax-cutting, greedy hands off our medicare"
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"Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that."
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"I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends."
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"When we got off the streetcar at Times Square, it was somewhat of a letdown. Newspapers were blowing about the road and pavement, and Broadway looked seedy, like a slovenly woman just out of bed."
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"As a profession advertising is young; as a force it is as old as the world. The first four words ever uttered, Let there be light, constitute its charter. All nature is vibrant with its impulse."
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"His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye."
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"There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!"
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"Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym."
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"I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member."
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"Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident."
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"I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead."
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"You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ."
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"Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please."
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"Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come."
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"A witty saying proves nothing."
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"If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt."
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"The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards."
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"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'"
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"One picture is worth 1,000 denials."
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