"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 5 of 81)
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"The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis."
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"She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show."
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"Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it."
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"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."
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"This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed."
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"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
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"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
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"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
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"The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living."
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"Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors."
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"Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists.""
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"[Answering the phone] Hello, this is a recording, you've dialed the right number, now hang up and don't do it again."
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"Men have become the tools of their tools."
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"In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
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"Turn your melodrama into a mellow drama."
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"Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly."
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"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."
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"Learn to help people with more than just their jobs: help them with their lives."
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"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
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