"Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals."
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 7 of 81)
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"There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it."
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"In Hawaii they say, "aloha." That's a nice one, It means both "hello" and "good-bye" Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going."
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"Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive."
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"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."
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"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
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"As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is."
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"TV is chewing gum for the eyes."
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"The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead."
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"If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists."
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"We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy."
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"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social."
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"he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something"
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"A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse."
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"We are told that Sin consists in acting contrary to God's commands, but we are also told that God is omnipotent. If He is, nothing contrary to His will can occur; therefore when the sinner disobeys His commands, He must have intended this to happen."
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"The only thing standing between me and greatness is me."
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"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."
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"God did not intend religion to be an exercise club."
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"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
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"I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz don't mean you ain't a peach."
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