"Never praise your cider or your horse"
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 6 of 81)
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"The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name."
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"I am realistic – I expect miracles."
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"Humor is also a way of saying something serious."
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"It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later."
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"I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that."
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"Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who'll get the blame."
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"If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!"
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"You are never too old to become younger!"
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"Whatever it is, I'm against it."
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"Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make."
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"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
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"In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet."
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"Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with."
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"Write drunk; edit sober."
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"I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?"
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"Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’"
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"In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady."
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"The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it."
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"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse."
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