“Life is brought down to the basics: if you are warm, regular, healthy, not thirsty or hungry, then you are not on a mountain... Climbing at altitude is like hitting your head against a brick wall - it's great when you stop.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 101 of 1263
“If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!”
“A monster is a person who has stopped pretending.”
“From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.”
“I named all my children after flowers. There's Lillie and Rose and my son, Artificial.”
“Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.”
“No reason to get excited,' the thief, he kindly spoke, There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.”
“Using iPads as cameras, for example, is like taking pictures with a cafeteria tray.”
“I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'”
“Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.”
“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That's one of my favorite things to say. So what.”
“When life hands you lemons - SQUAT! Squats make everything better. And if squats don't, bacon will”
“She watched the first episode and she was like, 'This is feminism?' And then by the end of the season, she was like, 'This is feminism.' The tone changed completely. She was really psyched about it.”
“All the lessons of history and experience must be lost upon us if we are content to trust alone to the peculiar advantages we happen to possess.”
“Left wing. Right wing. Chicken wing.”
“Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.”
“It's life. You don't figure it out. You just climb up on the beast and ride.”
“We look at death from the selfish side, like: "That guy died. Oh, it's so sad." Why is it sad? He's away from all of this bad stuff that's here on Earth. I mean, at the worst, he's just somewhere quiet, no nothing. At best, he's an angel... or he's a spirit somewhere. What is so bad about that?”
“Metal is still the biggest music now in America.”
“I've always been the opposite of a paranoid. I operate as if everyone is part of a plot to enhance my well-being.”