“Goodness means the highest degree of popularity.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 100 of 1263
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.”
“There is only one heart in my body, have mercy on me.”
“If you don't know where you're going any road will do”
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
“'The demon cried, waving its furry arms above his head like a demented orangutan.”
“She Got The Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft.”
“Coffee: we can get it anywhere, and get as loaded as we like on it, until such teeth-chattering, eye-bulging, nonsense-gibbering time as we may be classified unable to operate heavy machinery.”
“A lie is like a snowball: the further you roll it the bigger it becomes.”
“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
“IF is a very long word in Formula One; in fact, IF is F1 spelled backwards.”
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
“The secret of a long life is to never trust a doctor.”
“Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend.”
“I don't know what it is about the french language, it seems to be scared of coming out of the mouth so it comes out the nose instead.”
“The Dutch change positions quicker than you can make a cup of coffee.”
“A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.”
“Most men unconsciously judge the world from themselves, and it will be very generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant samples.”
“A mob is usually a creature of very mysterious existence, particularly in a large city. Where it comes from, or whither it goes, few men can tell. Assembling and dispersing with equal suddenness, it is as difficult to follow to its various sources as the sea itself; nor does the parallel stop here, for the ocean is not more fickle and uncertain, more terrible when roused, more unreasonable or more cruel.”
“I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was on my way to the vet to have it put down. He asked if it was mad, to which I replied that it wasn't exactly pleased about it.”