Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 113 of 1263

Mira Grant Author
Funny

“I've got no problem with octopuses. It's bugs and spiders that I don't like. Octopuses are cute, in their own 'nature did a lot of drugs' sort of way." - Becks”

41 likes
Horatio Nelson Admiral
Funny

“I will dine nowhere without your consent although with my present feelings I might be trusted with fifty virgins naked in a dark room.”

41 likes
Demetri Martin Comedian, Actor
Funny

“I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.”

40 likes
Dorothy Parker Poet, Writer, Critic
Funny

“By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.”

40 likes
D
Drake Rapper, singer, songwriter
Funny

“Drink up cause everyone here is good tonight. Except the niggas that I came wit, they good for life”

Bill Gates Business Magnate, Philanthropist
Funny

“If I had a dollar for every time someone made fun of me in high school-oh wait, I do!”

40 likes
Albert Einstein Physicist
Funny

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.”

Anthony Bourdain Chef, Author, Television Personality
Funny

“I don't have much patience for people who are self-conscious about the act of eating, and it irritates me when someone denies themselves the pleasure of a bloody hunk of steak or a pungent French cheese because of some outdated nonsense about what's appropriate or attractive.”

40 likes