“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 115 of 1263
“Women should be obscene, not heard.”
“I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.”
“Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.”
“Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.”
“If something is repeated over and over as obvious, the chances are that it is obviously false.”
“Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.”
“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in.”
“I don't like reindeer. They seem like regular deer, only more dangerous.”
“All we really want to do is dance.”
“Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.”
“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.”
“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. It's hard to understand failure when you're going through it, but in the grand scheme of things it's good to fall down - not because you're drunk and not near stairs.”
“Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?”
“What you resist persist.”
“Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.”
“I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.”
“Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.”
“Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.”
“Dance music-as I keep saying, you can dance to a windshield wiper... a windshield wiper that's fairly steady gives you a beat and all you need is an out-of-tune playing 'Melancholy Baby' and you've got dance music.”