Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 126 of 1263

Winston Churchill Politician, Writer, Historian
Funny

“At the bottom of all the tributes paid to democracy is the little man, walking into the little booth, with a little pencil, making a little cross on a little bit of paper-no amount of rhetoric or voluminous discussion can possibly diminish the overwhelming importance of the point.”

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Tim Berners-Lee Computer Scientist
Funny

“Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer knows the propensity to dream, the urge to make dreams come true and the tendency to miss lunch.”

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Richard Bach Author
Funny

“The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly.”

Sigmund Freud Neurologist, Psychoanalyst
Funny

“When someone abuses me I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenceless.”

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Robert A. Heinlein Science Fiction Author
Funny

“The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by Homo Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not receive this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history.”

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Snoop Dogg Rapper, Actor
Funny

“Now on the first day of Christmas, my homeboy gave to me A sack of the krazy glue and told me to smoke it up slowly. Now on the second day of Christmas, my homeboy gave to me A fifth of Hendog and told me to take my mind off that weed. Now by the third day of Christmas, my big homeboy gave to me A whole lot of everything, and it wasn't nuthin' but game to me.”

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Stephen Hawking Theoretical Physicist
Funny

“Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.”

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Steven Wright Comedian
Funny

“Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?”

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Sun Tzu Military Strategist
Funny

“Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, do what is great while it is small. The difficult things in this world must be done while they are easy, the greatest things in the world must be done while they are still small. For this reason sages never do what is great, and this is why they achieve greatness.”

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Mae West Actress, Singer, Screenwriter
Funny

“JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court? MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.”

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Mae West Actress, Singer, Screenwriter
Funny

“The curve is more powerful than the sword.”

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Nhat Hanh Zen Master, Author
Funny

“We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.”

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