“Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 124 of 1263
“If people were not wicked I should not mind their being stupid; but, to our misfortune, they are both.”
“I like to start the day early, it keeps me out of trouble.”
“I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.”
“This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.”
“Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”
“I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear.”
“I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance.”
“If you want something from an audience, you give blood to their fantasies. It's the ultimate hustle.”
“Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it’s actually more like raisins into a cookie - because nobody f---ing wants them there.”
“You're short on ears and long on mouth.”
“The question is not how to get cured, but how to live.”
“Every writer I know has trouble writing.”
“Laughter not only makes the journey endurable and even enjoyable, it also helps keep us healthy.... Be like a child: learn to laugh more!”
“The best way to execute French cooking is to get good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken.”
“Love, anger, depression, joy and dreams. ...And Zeppelin. Totally.”
“You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there.”
“But worse things were about to be found in the bedroom: on the jeweller’s wife’s ottoman, in a casual pose, sprawled a third party- namely, a black cat of uncanny size, with a glass of vodka in one paw and a fork, on which he had managed to spear a pickled mushroom, in the other. , The Master and Magarita”
“unbroken happiness is a bore: it should have ups and downs.”
“I’ve wrestled with alligators, I’ve tussled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning And throw thunder in jail. You know I’m bad. just last week, I murdered a rock, Injured a stone, Hospitalized a brick. I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.”