“Belly buttons are cool!”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 172 of 1263
“It's a rather rude gesture, but at least it's clear what you mean.”
“There is a story in Zen circles about a man and a horse. The horse is galloping quickly, and it appears that the man on the horse is going somewhere important. Another man standing alongside the road, shouts, «Where are you going?» and the first man replies, «I don't know! Ask the horse!» This is also our story. We are riding a horse, and we don't know where we are going and we can't stop. The horse is our habit energy pulling us along, and we are powerless.”
“Woody makes a movie as if he were lighting 10,000 safety matches to illuminate a city. Each one is a little epiphany: topical, ethnic, or political.”
“Lots of things are hard work, but I think writing, for me, after I started acting at 13 years old. I like writing now much more than I do acting only because well, partly because the scripts that are offered are junk.”
“There's a light at the end of the tunnel. And it's a train.”
“What do you know about dragons?” “They're big, scaly, four-legged creatures with wings who terrorized small villages until a virgin was offered up as a sacrifice.” His grinned again. “I do miss the virgins.”
“Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.”
“Our ideals, like the gods of old, are constantly demanding human sacrifices.”
“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”
“Too much truth is uncouth.”
“Wouldnt it be nice to be like men and get notches in your belt... and not get emotionally involved?”
“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.”
“Life is serious all the time, but living cannot be. You may have all the solemnity you wish in your neckties, but in anything important (such as sex, death, and religion), you must have mirth or you will have madness.”
“Most writers are middle-class and are the children of doctors or lawyers.”
“I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.”
“People have always told tales. Long before humanity learned to write and gradually became literate, everybody told tales to everybody else and everybody listened to everybody else's tales. Before long it became clear that some of the still illiterate storytellers told more and better tales than others, that is, they could make more people believe their lies.”
“I don't approve of people who watch television, but I am one of them.”
“I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris, or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere.”
“A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse.”