“Scallops are expensive, so they should be treated with some class. But then, I suppose that every creature that gives his life for our table should be treated with class.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 174 of 1263
“Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.”
“When I'm not in the booth, I'm one of the most laid-back guys. But growing up, I liked DMX, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, and T.I. - dudes that went all out on the track. My first songs were energetic because I liked their energy.”
“If the culture doesn't work, don't buy it.”
“Life is a game, play it.”
“And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race.”
“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”
“Insanity is a legal term. Crazy is an art form.”
“Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.”
“We're not responsible for the bustling and hustling that may go on here. Lots of people bustle, and some hustle. But that's their business, and a very old one.”
“The tax code is 10 times the size of the Bible with none of the good news.”
“You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.”
“So who's on drugs here?... He looks as if he's on drugs.”
“[after accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman] You are a woman, aren't you?”
“If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”
“Sensations are the great things, after all. Should you ever be drowned or hung, be sure and make a note of your sensations; they will be worth to you ten guineas a sheet.”
“I don't keep a dog and bark myself.”
“Just go up to somebody on the street and say 'You're it!' and then run away.”
“If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.”