“Man, that record came out and was real big in Memphis. They started playing it, and it got real big. Don't know why-the lyrics had no meaning.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 175 of 1263
“For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.”
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away”
“Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to it.”
“Find someone who disagrees and invite them to your table.”
“The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.”
“I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.”
“A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.”
“It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.”
“The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.”
“I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.”
“Somewhere between psychotic and iconic/ Somewhere between I want it and I got it/ Somewhere between I’m sober and I’m lifted/ Somewhere between a mistress and commitment”
“I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.”
“Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.”
“Downloading a Tamagotchi egg onto my phone is possibly the loudest my biological clock has ever ticked.”
“Women have a favorite room, men a favorite chair.”
“The difference between the actor and the painter is that the actor would buy somebody a knish in order to have them watch him act.”
“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours”
“I have always found it quaint and rather touching that there is a movement [Libertarians] in the US that thinks Americans are not yet selfish enough.”