“The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 177 of 1263
“Anyone who reaches for great expression has to be careful of the ridiculous.”
“A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.”
“Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.”
“You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.”
“Satire is a lesson, parody is a game.”
“Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight.”
“Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species.”
“Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.”
“The best things in life are silly.”
“Reality is negotiable.”
“You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody”
“I'm not a psychopath-I'm wearing a tie!”
“But I'm just having fun playing and giving Botox injections to the older songs.”
“What I'm saying might be profane, but it's also profound.”
“You're in bad shape when your emotions force you into acts which you know are foolish.”
“Technology isn't a villain. Technology should help, but if you just use the technology for the sake of technology, then you're cheating your audience. You're not giving them the best story and the best direction and so forth.”
“A cat won't curry favor even if it's in their best interests to do so. A cat can't be a hypocrite. If more preachers were like cats, this would be a more religious country.”
“If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.”
“For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.”