“Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 198 of 1263
“In order for the United States to do the right things for the long term, it appears to be helpful for us to have the prospect of humiliation. Sputnik helped us fund good science - really good science: the semiconductor came out of it.”
“All human evil comes from a single cause, man's inability to sit still in a room.”
“The harmonica is the world's best-selling musical instrument. You're welcome.”
“A foolish dog barks at a flying bird”
“One of the most important rules for success is this: Every great success is the result of hundreds and thousands of small efforts and accomplishments that no one sees or appreciates.”
“Love your enemies and drive them nuts.”
“Never turn your back on a friend.”
“For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake.”
“The entire Quran is a big joke. If it was not so violent, it would be the biggest comic book ever written.”
“If you're having trouble finding someone to play with, why don't you just go play with yourself.”
“Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good-night.”
“Yes, we're still five little people with a noisy attitude.”
“People are far more sincere and good-humored at speeding their parting guests than on meeting them.”
“Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!.”
“Fromage and coffee and cognac and no gods.”
“Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.”
“There is flattery in friendship.”
“You Jig, you amble, and you lisp.”
“Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.”