“You oil field workers, come and listen to me I'm goin' to tell you a story about old John D. That company union made a fool out of me. That company union don't charge no dues It leaves you a-singing them Rockefeller blues. That company union made a fool out of me. Takes that good ole C.I.O., boys To keep that oil a-rollin', rollin' over the sea. Takes that good ole C.I.O., boys To keep that oil a-rollin' over the sea.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 199 of 1263
“Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday”
“I am not cute. I am the dreaded Grim Reaper. People fear me, you know. There's a whole song about it.”
“Sure, you can mix the flour, baking soda, salt, shortening, and the whole nine yards, but why wouldn't you just pull out a box of Bisquick?”
“It is well known that the older a man grows, the faster he could run as a boy.”
“The devil is no fool. He can get people feeling about heaven the way they ought to feel about hell. He can make them fear the means of grace the way they do not fear sin. And he does so, not by light but by obscurity, not by realities but by shadows; not by clarity and substance, but by dreams and the creatures of psychosis. And men are so poor in intellect that a few cold chills down their spine will be enough to keep them from ever finding out the truth about anything.”
“Your talking to someone who really understands rock music.”
“Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?”
“A glorious place, a glorious age, I tell you! A very Neon renaissance - And the myths that actually touched you at that time - not Hercules, Orpheus, Ulysses and Aeneas - but Superman, Captain Marvel, and Batman.”
“I've never been a fan of personality-conflict burgers and identity-crisis omelets with patchouli oil. I function very well on a diet that consists of Chicken Catastrophe and Eggs Overwhelming and a tall, cool Janitor-in-a-Drum. I like to walk out of a restaurant with enough gas to open a Mobil station.”
“Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.”
“If I'm winning, I have to act like I'm not bored. If it's A tough match, I have to act like I'm having A good time. I'm a drama queen.”
“I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did I'd have held up a cross, cause he's allergic to bullshit.”
“Writers kid themselves-about themselves and other people. Take the talk about writing methods. Writing is just work-there's no secret. If you dictate or use a pen or type with your toes-it is just work.”
“You're turned in to the biggest balls of them all, DJ Suk T Nutts.”
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”
“I'm not one of those people who wakes up and thinks, 'Bring on the day!' I have to have about 7 pints of coffee before I'm even remotely awake. But I love the golden hour in the evening, as hokey as that sounds. Just as the sun is about to set and you get those lovely shadows and everything looks gold and yellow.”
“Trust is as slippery as a basket of eels sometimes.”
“Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.”
“In some cases, I quite like irritating people who need to be irritated.”