“The most important piece in the house is the garbage can.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 201 of 1263
“If a man is often the subject of conversation he soon becomes the subject of criticism.”
“Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris.”
“People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.”
“It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.”
“Being a housewife and a mother is the biggest job in the world, but if it doesn't interest you, don't do it - I would have made a terrible mother.”
“The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse.”
“It doesn't matter who you vote for. It's still the same billionaires that run the world.”
“White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!”
“It's like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story.”
“Zombies are the blue-collar monsters”
“My zombies will never take over the world because I need the humans. The humans are the ones I dislike the most, and they're where the trouble really lies.”
“In the long run, not doing what's necessary to do the thing you're afraid will hurt you, hurts infinitely worse than doing it.”
“[In 2007] People's relationship with a brand is becoming a dialog, not a monolog.”
“The road to ignorance is paved with good editors.”
“Music is the brandy of the damned.”
“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
“A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.”
“I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.”
“Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, which is usual with cattle, but to do the buying. And everyone is branded.”