“We all seem to stumble, planning our own demise, Getting the big picture, and making it wallet-sized.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 22 of 1263
“How do you get off a non-stop flight?”
“That's the story of my life; I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.”
“The very word "secrecy" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it.”
“When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.”
“If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.”
“Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.”
“All I want to be is normally insane.”
“Nobody would stay interested in me if I was normal”
“All media work us over completely. They are so pervasive in their personal, political, economic, aesthetic, psychological, moral, ethical, and social consequences that they leave no part of us untouched, unaffected, unaltered. The medium is the message. Any understanding of social and cultural change is impossible without a knowledge of the way media work as environments. All media are extensions of some human faculty - psychic or physical.”
“When I hear of Schrödinger's cat, I reach for my pistol.”
“Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.”
“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”
“A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.”
“A pack of jackasses led by a lion is superior to a pack of lions led by a jackass.”
“Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.”
“Hypocrites are those who apply to others the standards that they refuse to accept for themselves.”
“... that gender is a choice, or that gender is a role, or that gender is a construction that one puts on, as one puts on clothes in the morning, that there is a 'one' who is prior to this gender, a one who goes to the wardrobe of gender and decides with deliberation which gender it will be today.”
“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”