“On hitting a shaken opponent - His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 230 of 1263
“I prefer men to cauliflowers”
“He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'”
“Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.The Stealer of Souls, he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.”
“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
“There's a whole range of areas that we'll be looking at, so I'm not at this very early stage going to specify any particular areas. As you will know, there will be a limit to how far we can go in terms of a formal free trade agreement until we've actually left the European Union. I think there is much that we [with Donald Trump] can do in the interim in terms of looking at how we can remove some of the barriers to trade in a number of areas.”
“Unlike the normal pattern, I know I have grown more liberal as I've grown older. I have become more convinced that there is room for improvement in the world.”
“Dying is no big deal. Living is the trick.”
“Baseball is a dull game only for those with dull minds.”
“Good clothes open all doors.”
“If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.”
“Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.”
“In truth, politeness is artificial good humor, it covers the natural want of it, and ends by rendering habitual a substitute nearly equivalent to the real virtue.”
“Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week.”
“About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.”
“A dream is just a nightmare with lipstick.”
“Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town.”
“You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.”
“In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.”
“I don't take myself very seriously. I like to make people laugh. You know, it's like, if a woman can't be happy for another woman's work, they have to go work on that.”