“It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 28 of 1263
“I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sounds exactly the same, Infact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
“I may be known as the girl who was sunbathing topless with a Prince but Jordan is known as that thick girl who always falls out of clubs drunk. I know which one I prefer.”
“Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.”
“Why look for conspiracy when stupidity can explain so much”
“Most seafoods should be simply threatened with heat and then celebrated with joy.”
“Disco music in the '70s was just a call to go wild and party and dance with no thought or conscience or regard for tomorrow.”
“Never waste a minute thinking about people you don't like.”
“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”
“Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.”
“I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.”
“If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.”
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”
“The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month.”
“It's my view that gender is culturally formed, but it's also a domain of agency or freedom and that it is most important to resist the violence that is imposed by ideal gender norms, especially against those who are gender different, who are nonconforming in their gender presentation.”
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
“There are all sorts of cute puppy dogs, but it doesn't stop people from going out and buying Dobermans.”
“It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.”