“You are responsible for the predictable consequences of your actions.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 54 of 1263
“"You got beef, bring your cow, I will cattle you"”
“A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.”
“The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”
“In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?”
“I never met a lasagna I didn't like”
“I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.”
“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”
“All of us, as bodies, are in the active position of figuring out how to live with and against the constructions - or norms - that help to form us.”
“We form ourselves within the vocabularies that we did not choose, and sometimes we have to reject those vocabularies, or actively develop new ones.”
“It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.”
“We have to be careful in how we use this light shined on us.”
“Most men will not swim before they are able to.' Is not that witty? Naturally, they won't swim! They are born for the solid earth, not for the water. And naturally they won't think. They are made for life, not for thought. Yes, and he who thinks, what's more, he who makes thought his business, he may go far in it, but he has bartered the solid earth for the water all the same, and one day he will drown.”
“The man who doesn't relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.”
“When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.”
“There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time!”
“Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.”
“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”
“I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.”
“In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”