“Sin can be forgiven, but stupid is forever.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 56 of 1263
“I can be jubilant one moment and pensive the next, and a cloud could go by and make that happen.”
“There are some girls who are turned on by my body, and some others who are turned off. but for the majority i just use it as a conversation piece. like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd street would have a natural conversation piece. then when they get to talking to me they see i am not mean but gentle to them and thats all they want to know”
“There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion.”
“In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.”
“While eating your appetizer, don't be concerned with dessert.”
“Remuneration! O! That's the Latin word for three farthings”
“It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words.”
“He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.”
“You're always remembering songs you wanna sing except when you're actually at karaoke.”
“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.”
“People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it and what you do simply proves what you believe.”
“As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.”
“The dementors send their love, Potter!”
“Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the 'gotta have it' scale.”
“When I was in nursery school, the teachers asked me, y'know, 'What does your dad do for a living?' So I said 'He helps women get pregnant!' They called my mom and they were like, 'What exactly does your husband do?'”
“There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter”
“It's funny, isn't it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid.”
“The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out. There are brambles in the path? Then go around. That's all you need to know.”
“I love to see people laugh and I love it more if I can make them laugh.”