“Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pussy.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 55 of 1263
“You can't have rock and roll without drugs, you can't have rock and roll without sex.”
“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
“Ragtime was a fanfare for the 20th century.”
“The conservative "thinks of political policies as intended to preserve order, justice, and freedom. The ideologue, on the contrary, thinks of politics as a revolutionary instrument for transforming society and even transforming human nature. In his march toward Utopia, the ideologue is merciless.”
“People will always talk, so lets give them sumthin to talk about”
“Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“A grapefruit is just a lemon that saw an opportunity and took advantage of it.”
“Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.”
“I'm in shape. Round is a shape.”
“Let us accept truth, even when it surprises us and alters our views.”
“But like infection is the petty thought: it creeps and hides, and wants to be nowhere--until the whole body is decayed and withered by the petty infection... Thus spoke Zarathustra.”
“Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.”
“150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.”
“So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.”
“The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union.”
“Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie.”
“Did science promise happiness? I do not believe it. It promised truth, and the question is to know if we will ever make happiness with truth.”
“Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.”