“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 57 of 1263
“Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.”
“In the dark room a cloud of yellow dust flew from beneath the tool like a scatter of sparks from under the hooves of a galloping horse. The twin wheels turned and hummed. Binet was smiling, his chin down, his nostrils distended. He seemed lost in the kind of happiness which, as a rule, accompanies only those mediocre occupations that tickle the intelligence with easy difficulties, and satisfy it with a sense of achievement beyond which there is nothing left for dreams to feed on.”
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”
“Capitalism is a system in which the central institutions of society are, in principle, under autocratic control. Thus, a corporation or an industry is, if we were to think of it in political terms, fascist, that is, it has tight control at the top and strict obedience has to be established at every level. [...] Just as I'm opposed to political fascism, I am opposed to economic fascism. I think that until the major institutions of society are under the popular control of participants and communities, it's pointless to talk about democracy.”
“MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!”
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
“Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.”
“I'm such a jerk; it had never occurred to me that when we look at a photo from the front, the eyes reproduce exactly the position and the vision of the lens; it's these things that are taken for granted and it never occurs to anyone to think about them.”
“To operate within the matrix of power is not the same as to replicate uncritically relations of domination.”
“I think everybody from Philadelphia been shot at before.”
“One chord is fine. Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you're into jazz.”
“Many of us in our praying are like nasty little boys who ring front door bells and run away before anyone answers.”
“During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.”
“The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!”
“If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.”
“Every bowling center should have a house pro.”
“Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”
“Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.”