“He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 77 of 1263
“A couple of years I taught in graduate programs at NYU and Columbia, in the early eighties.”
“When all else fails, give up and go to the library.”
“I don't even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.”
“Never," said Hagrid irritably, "try an' get a straight answer out of a centaur. Ruddy stargazers. Not interested in anythin' closer'n the moon.”
“There's a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.”
“The sign of a Philistine age is the cry of immorality against art.”
“Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.”
“Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.”
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
“Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.”
“I am easily influenced. Compared with me a weather vane is Gibraltar.”
“If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through. What am I supposed to do, look intelligent?”
“I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.”
“Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.”
“Curiouser and curiouser.”
“A coquette is a young lady of more beauty than sense, more accomplishments than learning, more charms not person than graces of mind, more admirers than friends, mole fools than wise men for attendants.”
“People who read poetry have heard about the burning bush, but when you write poetry, you sit inside the burning bush.”
“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”
“I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.”