“The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 82 of 1263
“Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurist drivel; ‘Star Trek’ can turn your brains into puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!”
“I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”
“There are no true friends in politics.”
“When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth.”
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”
“I still have imaginary friends who I talk to in my head.”
“All evolution in thought and conduct must at first appear as heresy and misconduct.”
“Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer's day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.”
“A great deal of contemporary criticism reads to me like a man saying, 'Of course I do not like green cheese. I am very fond of brown sherry.”
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”
“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”
“It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.”
“The unicorn is a mythical beast.”
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of. What they don't want.”
“Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.”
“Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy; aristocracy of the American type.”
“The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo..." Mencheres to Cat”
“Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let's go! We're burnin' daylight!”