“There are only two forces that unite men - fear and interest.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 90 of 1263
“You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter - a girl brought up with the utmost care - to marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel?”
“Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs.”
“What a fuss people make about fidelity!" exclaimed Lord Henry. "Why, even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say.”
“A flirt is like a dipper attached to a hydrant; every one is at liberty to drink from it, but no one desires to carry it away.”
“Off camera, I am not so quiet, I have a fun time, relaxed.”
“When most people said "I'm psychic, you see," they meant "I have an overactive but unoriginal imagination/wear black nail varnish/talk to my budgie;" when Anathema said it, it sounded as though she was admitting to a hereditary disease which she'd much prefer not to have.”
“Look at me. Home boy wore combat boots to the beach. I know you don’t want to call that your boyfriend, I know you don’t.”
“Mammary militia breast feeding en masse in Costa. Puts one off their latte.”
“I tell you, Mr. Okada, a cold beer at the end of the day is the best thing life has to offer. Some choosy people say that a too cold beer doesn't taste good, but I couldn't disagree more. The first beer should be so cold you can't even taste it. The second one should be a little less chilled, but I want that first one to be like ice. I want it to be so cold my temples throb with pain. This is my own personal preference of course.”
“Any sort of plain speaking is better than the nauseous sham good fellowship our democratic public men get up for shop use.”
“'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?”
“She doesn't quite chop his head off. She makes a Pez dispenser out of him.”
“My brother is undoubtedly arrogant," Tyrion Lannister replied. "My father is the soul of avarice, and my sweet sister Cersei lusts for power with every waking breath. I, however, am innocent as a little lamb. Shall I bleat for you?”
“A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.”
“My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.”
“All public resources go to the rich. The poor, if they can survive in the labor market, fine. Otherwise, they die. That's economics in a nutshell.”
“Mr Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods' roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.”
“Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment; that background which the painter may not daub, be he master or bungler, and which, however awkward a figure we may have made in the foreground, remains ever our inviolable asylum, where no indignity can assail, no personality can disturb us.”
“Visit the Navy-Yard, and behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts - a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, buried under arms with funeral accompaniments.”