"It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel."
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Sarcastic quotes
Sarcastic
907 quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
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Sarcastic quotes (page 13 of 46)
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"Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it."
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"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name."
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"Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own."
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"I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde."
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"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them."
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"I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness"
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"The finest woman that ever walked the streets."
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"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
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"Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles."
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"Death will be a great relief. No more interviews."
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"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive."
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"I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself."
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"It's never just a game when you're winning."
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"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
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"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
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"You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear."
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"A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist."
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"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong."
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"Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
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