"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 13 of 71)
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"he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something"
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"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."
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"Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes."
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"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
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"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?"
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"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
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"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."
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"When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us"
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"No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married."
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"It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money."
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"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?"
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"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."
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"The only thing standing between me and greatness is me."
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"God did not intend religion to be an exercise club."
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"Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying."
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"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"
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"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it."
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"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
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"I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!"
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