Witty quotes
1.4K quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
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"It is one of the most hauntingly beautiful places in the world, the history is fascinating, the men are handsome and the whisky is delicious. But don't eat the macaroni pies."
"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
"The only real laughter comes from despair."
"We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate."
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose."
"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."
"The best way to hold a man is in your arms."
"I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
"Every age has a keyhole to which its eye is pasted."
"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing."
"On the other hand, you have different fingers."
"If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!"
"You are never too old to become younger!"
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."
"Whatever it is, I'm against it."
