"We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!"
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 19 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works."
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"The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it."
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"Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF."
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"What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have."
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"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."
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"Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!"
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"I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her."
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"Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw."
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"Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing."
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"See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them."
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"I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents."
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"I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything."
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"During the course of the year a number of ideas just come up automatically. I could be walking down the street. Or shaving. An idea will hit me and I'll write it down. Then, when I'm ready to write, I check my little matchbooks and napkins and find that it is good or it's pretty terrible. There are other times when I don't have any ideas and I'll go into a room and close the door and I sit and sweat it out for a day or a month and eventually I come up with [something]."
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"My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite."
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"Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym."
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"How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich."
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"I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over."
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"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
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"I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case."
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