"Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 17 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"You can't ride two horses with one behind."
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"I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you."
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"If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check."
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"You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life."
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"I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again."
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"Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes."
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"And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room."
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"Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships."
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"There's something about my films; they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not."
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"The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty."
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"You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless."
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"I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens."
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"The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house."
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"I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them."
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"When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject."
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"There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope."
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"All i have in my life is my imagination"
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"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
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"It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel."
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