"If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher."
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Quote collection
Demetri Martin quotes (page 16 of 25)
494 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline."
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"You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?"
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"It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive."
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"I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine."
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"I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the "crazy guy" at law school, which is the guy who is not so much "crazy" as "annoying.""
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"Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal."
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"I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins."
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"Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two."
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"It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single."
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"When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries."
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"You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone."
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"They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top."
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"I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be."
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"To be creative, first I need to be really organized. If my apartment's messy I need to clean it. It's like before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, you have to have a clean room."
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"What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing."
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"For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way."
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"In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful."
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"If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'"
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"When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings."
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