Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 116 of 1263

Woodrow Wilson Politician
Funny

“A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit. Our system of credit is privately concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men who, even if their action be honest and intended for the public interest, are necessarily concentrated upon the great undertakings in which their own money is involved and who necessarily, by very reason of their own limitations, chill and check and destroy genuine economic freedom.”

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Sadie Frost Actress
Funny

“I'm always the girl at the party who, within five minutes, has taken my heels off, hitched up my dress in my knickers, and probably spilt drink down my cleavage.”

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Funny

“I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.”

Tony Wilson Music Producer, Entrepreneur
Funny

“Jazz is the last refuge of the untalented. Jazz musicians enjoy themselves more than anyone listening to them does.”

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Richard Miller Artist, Painter
Funny

“Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.”

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Steven Wright Comedian
Funny

“One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"”

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Steven Wright Comedian
Funny

“If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?”

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Kami Garcia Author
Funny

“You end up taking your sugar with your salt and your kicks with your kisses.”

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J. Cole Rapper, songwriter
Funny

“I feel like I'm a New Yorker because I really know the city. I actually tell the drivers where to go - I have this bad habit, I always question the drivers. I do that all the time because I feel like I know the best way, when really it's like, 'Yo, man, shut up. This dude does this every day of his life.'”

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J. K. Rowling Novelist, Screenwriter
Funny

“Although people rarely died playing Quidditch, referees had been known to vanish and turn up months later in the Sahara Desert.”

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H. G. Wells Writer
Funny

“For all my desire to be interesting, I have to confess that for most things and people I don't give a damn.”