“Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 137 of 1263
“Laughter can relieve tension, soothe the pain of disappointment, and strengthen the spirit for the formidable tasks that always lie ahead.”
“Whatever music you beat on your drum there is somebody who can dance to it.”
“It is better to play than do nothing.”
“I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.”
“Nobody saves America by sniffing cocaine. Jiggling your knees blankeyed in the rain, when it snows in your nose you catch cold in your brain.”
“What if someone gave a war and Nobody came?”
“More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your dreams.”
“If I would have listened to the naysayers, I would still be in the Austrian Alps yodeling.”
“If you wanna dance, a windshield wiper'll do it-all you need is a beat.”
“Taking jobs to build up your resume is the same as saving up sex for old age.”
“How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?”
“Chastity is curable, if detected early.”
“But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!”
“Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.”
“Misery, anger, indignation, discomfort-those conditions produce literature. Contentment-never. So there you are.”
“I do not know if all cops are poets, but I know that all cops carry guns with triggers.”
“You have to able to make fun of yourself. Don't take things too seriously and when people make fun of you, laugh at it.”
“All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.”
“If a story doesn't give you a hard-on in the first couple of scenes, throw it in the goddamned garbage.”