“It's important to have as much fun as possible while we're here. It balances out the times when the minefield of life explodes.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 17 of 1263
“Jesters do oft prove prophets.”
“It's so funny being a Christian musician. It always scares me when people think so highly of Christian music, Contemporary Christian music especially. Because I kinda go, I know a lot of us, and we don't know jack about anything. Not that I don't want you to buy our records and come to our concerts. I sure do. But you should come for entertainment. If you really want spiritual nourishment, you should go to church... you should read the Scriptures.”
“Fun is about as good a habit as there is.”
“A friend of mine told me to shoot first and ask questions later. I was going to ask him why, but I had to shoot him.”
“I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.”
“If it's not one thing, it's your mother.”
“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”
“I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.”
“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.”
“Give a man everything he wants and at that moment everything is not everything”
“Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.”
“To execute a man we don't need proof of his guilt. We only need proof that it's necessary to execute him. It's that simple.”
“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
“The question is very understandable, but no one has found a satisfactory answer to it so far. Yes, why do they make still more gigantic planes, still heavier bombs and, at the same time, prefabricated houses for reconstruction? Why should millions be spent daily on the war and yet there's not a penny available for medical services, artists, or for poor people? Why do some people have to starve, while there are surpluses rotting in other parts of the world? Oh, why are people so crazy?”
“I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.”
“I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."”
“Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?”