“The only language men ever speak perfectly is the one they learn in babyhood, when no one can teach them anything!”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 33 of 1263
“Who said nights were for sleep?”
“Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!'”
“One can only guess the amount of magic mushrooms a sane person would have to consume to believe that a frisbee constituted a genuine threat to roughly 3,000 police officers.”
“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
“Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!”
“When some people rejoin with “All Lives Matter” they misunderstand the problem, but not because their message is untrue. It is true that all lives matter, but it is equally true that not all lives are understood to matter which is precisely why it is most important to name the lives that have not mattered, and are struggling to matter in the way they deserve.”
“Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”
“I don't want to sound facetious, but humour is the key to the soul. You know what I mean?”
“There are few things more dangerous than a mixture of power, arrogance and incompetence.”
“The more successful the villain, the more successful the picture.”
“Wit is educated insolence.”
“When a big tree falls, the ground shakes”
“Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.”
“Hip-hop is the streets. Hip-hop is a couple of elements that it comes from back in the days... that feel of music with urgency that speaks to you. It speaks to your livelihood and it's not compromised. It's blunt. It's raw, straight off the street - from the beat to the voice to the words.”
“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”
“One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.”
“Misanthropes have some admirable if paradoxical virtues. It is no exaggeration to say that we are among the nicest people you are likely to meet. Because good manners build sturdy walls, our distaste for intimacy makes us exceedingly cordial "ships that pass in the night." As long as you remain a stranger we will be your friend forever.”
“The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.”