“What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 37 of 1263
“Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.”
“Life is just one damned thing after another.”
“My favorite name for a color is "puce." It's kind of a dried blood color. It's a hideous color. But I love the word. It's so euphonic. But my favorite colors are lavender, purple, periwinkle blue, and white.”
“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler.”
“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
“Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen who would protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is good and fruitful in our national heritage.”
“I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.”
“A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.”
“Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery: nothing else holds fashion.”
“All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand! Oh, oh, oh!”
“By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.”
“I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.”
“If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.”
“The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.”
“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”
“It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”
“It doesn't do good to open doors for someone who doesn't have the price to get in. If he has the price, he may not need the laws. There is no law saying the Negro has to live in Harlem or Watts.”