Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 61 of 1263

Henry David Thoreau Writer, Philosopher
Funny

“All voting is a sort of gaming, like checkers or backgammon, with a slight moral tinge to it, a playing with right and wrong, with moral questions; and betting naturally accompanies it. The character of the voters is not staked. I cast my vote, perchance, as I think right; but I am not vitally concerned that right should prevail. I am willing to leave it to the majority.”

Lewis Black Comedian, Actor, Author
Funny

“Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem...”

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Joe Dante Film Director
Funny

“The dynamic is extremely similar to Gremlins and the hero is very similar, plus the small town atmosphere. It really is in a way the third Gremlins movie.”

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Joey Adams Comedian, Actor
Funny

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”

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Judith Butler Philosopher, Gender Theorist
Funny

“Gender is a kind of imitation for which there is no original; in fact, it is a kind of imitation that produces the very notion of the original as an effect and consequence of the imitation itself.”

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Johnny Carson Television Host
Funny

“Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.”

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Kurt Vonnegut Novelist, Satirist
Funny

“One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.”

Hermann Hesse Novelist, Poet
Funny

“I am fond of music I think because it is so amoral. Everything else is moral and I am after something that isn't. I have always found moralizing intolerable.”

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Paul Walker Actor
Funny

“It's funny to see the people connect with Fast & Furious the way they do. I had no clue, I didn't get it. And now, more I get it and I see it.”

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Pema Chodron Buddhist Teacher, Author
Funny

“It's hard to know whether to laugh or to cry at the human predicament. Here we are with so much wisdom and tenderness, and—without even knowing it—we cover it over to protect ourselves from insecurity. Although we have the potential to experience the freedom of a butterfly, we mysteriously prefer the small and fearful cocoon of ego.”

Demetri Martin Comedian, Actor
Funny

“I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'”

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Dylan Thomas Poet, Writer
Funny

“I went on all over the States, ranting poems to enthusiastic audiences that, the week before, had been equally enthusiastic about lectures on Railway Development or the Modern Turkish Essay.”

Dorothy Parker Poet, Writer, Critic
Funny

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

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Che Guevara Revolutionary, Guerrilla Leader
Funny

“The negro has maintained his racial purity by his well known habit of avoiding baths”

Boris Johnson Politician, Journalist
Funny

“My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.”

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