“I never trust a man that doesn't drink.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 59 of 1263
“He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.”
“I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.”
“As we interpret ourselves differently, we also live ourselves differently.”
“The price of Christmas toys is outrageous - a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.”
“I'm not an educated man, but I've read some history. Every kingdom comes up bloody. Every castle is built on a pile of bones. When I came out here, LA was nothing. Back east I was a gangster, out here I'm god.”
“I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.”
“Pompey bade Sylla recollect that more worshipped the rising than the setting sun.”
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”
“Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.”
“If youre going to be sexy in a photo, youd better be thinking about sex rather than about being sexy.”
“Take your work seriously, but don't take yourself seriously”
“If gay marriage was OK ... then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.”
“Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.”
“A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake.”
“It occurred to me that I just didn't see how I could go ahead and continue to eat meat. It just seemed so... cannibalistic to me. And so, I'm a vegetarian, and I have been ever since.”
“We love to be hurt and we love to have our unhealing wounds opened and reopened again: we sit staring in the mirror of art, fascinated by our own deformities.”
“I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.”
“Never get involved in a land war in Asia.”
“Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.”