“Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes that everybody liked, they left that to the Bee Gees.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 60 of 1263
“Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.”
“Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.”
“Let the stoics say what they please, we do not eat for the good of living, but because the meat is savory and the appetite is keen.”
“The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea.”
“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”
“Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?”
“I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.”
“Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.”
“When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.”
“Shouldn't someone tag Mr. Kennedy's bold new imaginative program with its proper age? Under the tousled boyish haircut is still old Karl Marx - first launched a century ago. There is nothing new in the idea of a Government being Big Brother.”
“All war is based on deception.”
“I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me.”
“Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!”
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
“When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.”
“Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."”
“We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty.”
“This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.”
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”