“If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 93 of 1263
“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
“If it weren’t so off-putting for my co-workers. I’d wear my flannel, one-piece 'Hannah Montana' pajamas, like, all the time!”
“If life a joke then I’m waiting for the punch. You all about the beef but me, I’m bout the bun.”
“I laugh at myself. I don't take myself completely seriously. I think that's another quality that people have to hold on to... you have to laugh, especially at yourself.”
“Trendy is the last stage before tacky.”
“I have nothing to declare but my genius, and this four-kilo bag of cocaine.”
“Not everyone likes all our flavors, but each flavor is someone's favorite.”
“When we consider that each of us has only one life to live, isn’t it rather tragic to find men and women, with brains capable of comprehending the stars and the planets, talking about the weather; men and women, with hands capable of creating works of art, using those hands only for routine tasks; men and women, capable of independent thought, using their minds as a bowling-alley for popular ideas; men and women, capable of greatness, wallowing in mediocrity; men and women, capable of self-expression, slowly dying a mental death while they babble the confused monotone of the mob?”
“What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.”
“Nothing is forever except change.”
“A friend once said, and I found to be true,That everyday people, they lie to God too,So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you.”
“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
“I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.”
“It's all make believe, isn't it?”
“The second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find someone who can play the second fiddle with enthusiasm”
“Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.”
“There's only one rule in photography - never develop colour film in chicken noodle soup.”
“To be in love is not the same as loving. You can be in love with a woman and still hate her.”
“Please don't bite baby, I got some bomb ass pussy from a white lady... She let me hide my weed in her titties”