“We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blesses facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 94 of 1263
“With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.”
“I'm not a tweeter or a Facebooker or a Grammer. I'm a real grump when it comes to technology. I'm like, come on, just write me a letter.”
“Give the devil his due.”
“I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.”
“During war, the laws are silent.”
“I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.”
“You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.”
“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
“I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'”
“A positive attitude and a sense of humor go together like biscuits and gravy.”
“He who seeks rest finds boredom. He who seeks work finds rest.”
“After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.”
“What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.”
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
“The lion is most handsome when looking for food.”
“Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.”
“If I'd known white people were going to buy my last album, I never would have recorded it.”
“I only got a seventh-grade education, but I have a doctorate in funk, and I like to put that to good use”
“The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.”