"Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 7 of 71)
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"No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman."
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"To obtain an assured favorable response from people, it is better to offer them something for their stomachs instead of their brains."
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"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches."
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"Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness."
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"Never have more children than you have car windows."
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"If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!"
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"Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, " This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in; fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well! It must have been made to have me in it!"
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"Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves."
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"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
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"Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."
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"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings"
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"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead."
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"Surrealism in painting amounted to little more than the contents of a meagerly stocked dream world: a few witty fantasies, mostly wet dreams and agoraphobic nightmares."
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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'"
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"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
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"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
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"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."
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"Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy shee."
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"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"
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