"With me; it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 15 of 41)
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"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
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"I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school."
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"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."
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"We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice."
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"Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses."
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"Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!"
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"You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on."
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"Human existence is a brutal experience to me... it's a brutal, meaningless experience - an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, terrible experience, and so it salvation is what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most."
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"Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls."
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"I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night."
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"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives."
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"If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?"
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"I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty."
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"Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special."
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"Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion."
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"What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage."
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"Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do."
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"A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates."
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"The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down."
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