"I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife"
Read quote
52 likes
Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 3 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"The man who said 'I'd rather be lucky than good' saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and for a split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn't and you lose."
Read quote
51 likes
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?"
Read quote
49 likes
"Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained."
Read quote
47 likes
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
Read quote
47 likes
"Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing."
Read quote
47 likes
"I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm."
Read quote
43 likes
"Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end."
Read quote
42 likes
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Read quote
42 likes
"Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?"
Read quote
41 likes
"You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to."
Read quote
41 likes
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
Read quote
41 likes
"Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea."
Read quote
40 likes
"Why ruin a good story with the truth?"
Read quote
40 likes
"I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want"
Read quote
38 likes
"Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way."
Read quote
37 likes
"I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't."
Read quote
37 likes
"Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge."
Read quote
36 likes
"If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out."
Read quote
36 likes
"The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you."
Read quote
36 likes