"I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sounds exactly the same, Infact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same."
Humor quotes
Humor
3.8K quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
Explore further
Topics related to Humor
Browse quotes that often appear alongside humor — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
Quote collection
Humor quotes (page 3 of 192)
Follow a thought to its author, or read the full quote page.
"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."
"I should like to be a horse."
"The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience."
"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"
"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
"I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me."
"I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician."
"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."
"What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish."
"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus."
"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?"
"Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."
"Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner."
"All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why."