"I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sounds exactly the same, Infact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same."
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Humor quotes
Humor
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Humor quotes (page 3 of 192)
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"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
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"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."
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"I should like to be a horse."
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"The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience."
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"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"
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"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
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"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
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"I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me."
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"I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician."
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"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."
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"What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish."
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"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out."
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"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
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"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus."
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"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?"
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"Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
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"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."
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"Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner."
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"All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why."
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