Funny feeling

Funny Quotes — page 107 of 1263

Dorothy Parker Poet, Writer, Critic
Funny

“It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”

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Chris Rock Comedian, Actor, Writer
Funny

“I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.”

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Bette Davis Actress
Funny

“Never, never trust anyone who asks for white wine. It means they're phonies.”

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Funny

“If you have it you don't need it. If you need it, you don't have it. If you have it, you need more of it. If you have more of it, you don't need less of it. You need it to get it. And you certainly need it to get more of it. But if you don't already have any of it to begin with, you can't get any of it to get started, which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you? You can share it, sure. You can even stockpile it if you like. But you can't fake it. Wanting it. Needing it. Wishing for it. The point is if you've never had any of it ever people just seem to know.”

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Alan Parker Film Director
Funny

“Rain is also very difficult to film, particularly in Ireland because it's quite fine, so fine that the Irish don't even acknowledge that it exists.”

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Albert Einstein Physicist
Funny

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.”

Amy Lee Musician
Funny

“Honestly I just wear what I like. You know why? 'Cause I can, I'm a rock star.”

Stephen King Author
Funny

“Gordie: Do you think I'm weird? Chris: Definitely. Gordie: No man, seriously. Am I weird? Chris: Yeah, but so what? Everybody's weird”

J. K. Rowling Novelist, Screenwriter
Funny

“Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?” James lifted an invisible sword. “‘Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.” Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him. “Got a problem with that?” “No,” said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy —” “Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” interjected Sirius.”

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KM Funny

“You are too arrogant for your own good. I officially de-mate you. Go away. I never want to see you again. Except maybe tonight. Naked. Your place. But after that, no more.”